Apr 26, 2009
I hav a few post-its for some ppl that i want to dish out now :
1. If u are anyone of my college friends (wait if its u pest.. shoo gt away!! ur banned from my blog rem??!! if u ask me anythng abt my blog next time ill whack u, u asshole!!!)..ok so then plz ignore this. DONT ask me whts wrng. I will tell u whn i m ready ok? I m nt sure I want to hear u say i-told-u-so ryt now.
2. All ILMB... Quick i need u again. Reply on community topic!!! (wails loudly and asks for a group hug)
3. YOU, the reason for all this, I want u to knw I m sorry. I m sorry I was honest abt all this. I m sorry for so many thngs... damn!!! I have never said this much sorry to anyone. I dont knw if things will be better whn I come back. I hope they will be..
Luv to everyone.. I'll miss u all.. (teary eyed)
The lump in her throat turned more painful when she saw him. He stood at the other end of the empty basketball court. Her breath seemed to catch as she saw him. They walked slowly towards each other… A walk that seemed to take forever when all it took for a few ticking seconds. As she started taking the steps she could feel herself changing. Her happy, funny and perpetually laughing mask seemed to be out of the closet. She pushed away the thoughts and the sleepless night and smiled a bright smile.
He looked at her with eyes filled with a sea of emotions she couldn’t fathom. He looked at her with a desperation she didn’t want to thaw at the cold that settled around her heart. She wouldn’t ever let him see how much she ached on the inside.
"Are u ok?"
No I am anything but ok. She took d basketball and started to dribble away from him. Refusing to meet his eyes. "Yes of course I am you dummy!!! Why do u ask?"
He appeared in front of her out of nowhere, taking advantage of her being so tiny, blocking off her escape. He took d basketball with no difficulty and put it out of her reach, like the way one would do with a child.
"Heyyy..." She frowned. She cussed. He smiled and that nearly drove her crazy.
"Will u talk to me?" He said turning serious again.
She sighed. Resigned and defeated. They turned and walked to d edge of the court. Sitting down on d steps near d court, he began, "Are u upset with me?"
Yes I am. "Of course I m not… What makes you say that?" she said.
He said in a rush, "You wouldn’t pick up my calls... You wouldn’t reply to my messages.. Where have you been?". His eyes seem to burn down to the depths of her soul, willing her to say the truth.
I was hurting... U hurt me. "I was busy"
"So busy, you couldn’t reply back?"
Do I even exist for you? Can you even see how much I love u? "Areee baba... I was tied up all day. I m here now am I not??"
"You aren’t upset about me being with her are u?" He asked with a worried face.
Yes. I m so upset I can feel my heart break. "Nooo... Why would I be? You are happy. And that makes me happy. You crazy idiot!!"
"I love her a lot. She makes me so happy I can’t imagine being with anyone but her. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I could feel again"
A headache seemed to be building up.. tapping away annoyingly at d inside of her temple. Why was she even here? She should have listened to her best friend. She should at home, in her bed, shut away from d world... she should be alone. She felt something die inside her at his every syllable. She just smiled.
He looked away. Smiling foolishly. She wondered what he thought about? What would she be doing right this moment. What will she say when he proposed to her that night. What would she wear? How she would look in d flowing gossamer veil of white at their wedding? Something that felt horribly like tears prickled at the inside of her eyes. His joy seemed to vibrate out of him… touching everything around him. It made her feel like someone had driven a knife all the way down to the deepest corner of her heart.
Everything screamed at her to tell him about what she was feeling.
I love you so much it makes me crazy to think about you with another woman. I have loved you ever since I saw you first day at college. U had looked so wonderful in your white shirt and blue jeans it had made me go crazy. All these years I was your best friend when every single day I wanted to be more. I wanted to be the woman you imagined spending your entire life with.
It took her super human strength to speak.
“I am happy for you Sweetypie.... You deserve the best. She is very lucky she got you, you know.”
He looked at her then, smiling widely, the crow feet at the corner of his eyes. She wanted to look at anywhere but his face.. and yet she couldn’t stop from falling into love. All over again. With those eyes and that foolish smile. No matter what her mind screamed, she couldn’t look away. He came closer, drawing her in a hug. Kissing d top of her head. She allowed herself a few moments more to dream. She inhaled his scent.. of soap, shampoo, cologne and him. She held him tight because she knew maybe this was the last time she was holding him that way. She squeezed her eyes shut, ordering the tears to hold themselves.. just a few moments more.
She mumbled “I love u.. I love u more than she does.”
He laughed. The rich sound echoing in the empty quad. He ruffled her hair and said “Of course you do. I know you do jaan. You'll always be my number one. You know tat, right!!”
They broke apart and he held her still, smiling at her. She smiled at wooden smile, willing herself to get up and leave.
Please make me stay. Please Please hold me once more. “I need to go. Ill seeya later ok?”
He got up too, snatching the ball and putting in a layup. He said “Ok. Ill call u about what happens tonight. Though I know what the answer will be. You get to be my best man ok??!! Hahahaha..”
She could no longer smile.. starting to walk away from him.. the basketball.. college.. He called out, “Oye.. say Bye atleast!! ”
She waved without looking back. Every step she took seemed to put more distance between them than anything else.
As she reached the edge of the court, he called out again, “Nothing changes.. I love u too ok?”
She stopped in her steps and this time she could stop the tears that came. She nodded and waved again. He couldn’t see because he was already on the phone.
She started to walk again. Putting her hands in her pockets, as the breeze started to pick up. As the day started to get colder.
She whispered, “Everything changes.”
P.S: DO NOT DERIVE ANY CONCLUSIONS OUT OF THIS.
Apr 24, 2009
"I m really gonna miss these days
My sweetest lil dimpled angel.. wid a makeshift crown. Hehehe :)
"All d 4 years we wondered wht d inside of this cabin feels like!!! Look at Varu wid d cap n me wid d 'aila' expression n d sticks!!! Shilpa actually looks ready to kill someone!!! Hehehe"
Look at wht we found in Gul's Bag!!! Ooooo !!! that grl in d pic looks desperate!!! Hehehe!!!(Check out d height difference.. No more 6 footers for me plzz!!! hehehe!!!)
Best Friends Forever!!! (CMU or Gatech.. No place will ever be too far!! MWAHHH!!!)
"Lalalalalal!!!!! Finally DONE wid d submissionssss!!! Yaaayyyyyyy!!!"
Mr. Microsoft wid d Ms.Wipro, Ms. Accenture, Ms. Citius, Ms. CMU/Gatech & Ms. SUNY... !!! Missed Mr. Google on this one who was talkin d pic!! :P Dont look too closely!!! U'll see phelgm!!! hahahah!!! (eyes luk nice in dis one!!)
D Files that made our life so miserable and fun at d same time!!! Ill miss u and NOT miss u to!!! Hehehe!!!
P.S : And THEN came the Farewell Party...
P.S : Do see my lovely description on Karan's Blog.. Mwahh!!! (thanks for d 9/10 hehehe) :)
Apr 18, 2009
Apr 16, 2009
Varu is ready to crack under the pressure!!
Oh Wumpus! Oh Wumpus!
Apr 13, 2009
I’ll not beat around d bush here, about why I m writing this post. I had a breakup. Very recently. Lets not get into the why’s and when.. because it’s a rather long and messy story. So anyway, I decided to write this, because.. Damn!! Breakups can be good. I had a LOT of fun coming up with some of these reasons along with my rocking friends.. (\m/) So here goes :
4. You get to spend a lot of time with the family. Meaning you are out of your room, and off your phone, and actually listening to how did mom’s day go. And that's a good feeling!
5. You get to stare at cute guys asses. (Hi5!!) Hehe. (Ok, I'll be honest, earlier it was just the faces. Now you can blatantly check them out!) (Courtesy : ILMB, CC’s)
6. You get to burn stuff. Haha. TRUST ME! It's an awesome feeling (rem when in FRIENDS, they try to burn and cute firemen show up!) (Courtesy : Pam)
8. You can leave.. umm.. certain places unshaven. (courtesy: Tinku)
Apr 10, 2009
She is going to make one gorgeous bride someday!!! my god!! she looks so awesome!!! :)
Apr 7, 2009
I hav been meaning to write about this for a long time. There was this incident tht happened a while back, on one dull Tuesday morning as I went to college. It wasn’t very crowded in d train, and since it was sunny, I wasn’t standing at my usual spot near the door, I was standing inside the door, leaning against the frame inside. There was a line of ladies standing in the same way I was, opposite me in the same fashion as I was. And they all kept staring at me.
The reason for this blatant staring was confusing at first for me, and then I slowly realized what the problem was. Like following the progress of a ball, in the tennis match, the eyes of this one particular lady kept alternating between the pendent in my neck (my 21st Bday present) and the tattoo on my hand, which was very visible, as I loosely held the support rod which was above my head.
Religious (lack of) tolerance. Ah! The age old vice! U see, like in d pic above, the pendent I wear around my neck, glittering wid tiny diamonds and rubies, set around a yellow stone shaped lik Ganeshji, supposedly proclaims me as “Hindu”, while the tattoo inscribed on the inside of my wrist, in a calligraphic Arabic font, supposedly proclaims me as “Muslim”. On top of all that a friend called and I said “Aree Haan, Annie bol rahi hu..” Lolz. “Christian” now.
It was so irritating and disgusting and ridiculous at the same time to see the puzzled, some even bordering on dislike, looks on the faces of the women there. Why is it that most of us are identified with tags that call us Hindu or Muslim or Christian? Y cant we be jus Indian? Y cant we be jus Human? It’s a topic that I can go on ages about. But this isn’t about me. Its about what u think. Tell me people. What are ur views about this Religious Lack of Tolerance.
P.S: For all those who want to knw so who i am then? I m Indian. Period.
and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing that one of two things will happen--
there will be something to land on…
or you will learn how to fly.
Apr 4, 2009
Zele, Ganesh, Deepak (yayyy deepppaaakkkk...weee lovveee uuuu!!!), Ron, RR King, Chinmay, Nikhil, Binu, Pratik, Ashwin...
P.S : Many others left. Wizards part - II : Karthik, sidd, ketan, abhya (the star), Saumi (kaka).
Apr 3, 2009
Words fail me. There are absolutely no words to describe what u mean to me. No words will ever be able to express my fear about how lost I would hav been widout u. Without u, I would hav had no escape. In front of u, I can cry, I can laugh, I can be silly, I can talk about flirting, I can talk about loving him still, I can talk about hating him sometimes, I can talk about fear for being alone forever, I can be me.
U were d first one i called , in tears, near hysterical, so close to a nervous breakdown..rem? N look at me now. I knw i m still acting pretty insane, goin ga-ga over hypotheical entities, givin u minor heartattacks, but I am so much better tahn otherwise. N its all bcz U r wid me. bcz U care. N tht is wht is already healing me. U really ought to knw that if u wouldnt hav talked all those long hours wid me, i would hav ended up killing myself.. bcz the pain was too much to bear. N look now.. "Strength of will". I m so proud of myself. Bcz ur proud of me.
Mona, U mean d world to me! No matter where u go, there is something between us that CANNOT be changed. No one will ever be able to take ur place in my life. I knw this note was long overdue.. bt better late than never huh?:)
I love u a lot. Thanks for everything!!.
He makes me wait, on and on, Telling me he'll be back soon,
He always has the weirdest excuses to tell,
He makes me so mad, I narrow my eyes,
He makes me cross and he makes me yell,
P.S: Men i tell u!!!
Thank you for being wid me during my most trying times. I knw we dun talk all that much often as we used to in 1st sem, and i knw i havent been there for u in ur trying times, and yet seeing u beside me,makes my day. U should knw tht ur My special gift from God. Ur hugs make my day and ur jokes actually make me smile (I havnt laughed so much since last month as much as i laughed on ur reedition of 'O re Piya'..LOLZ).
I knw things havnt been easy for u lately, n they havent been easy for me either. I knw tht jus bcz ur smiling and joking dusnt mean ur Ok. But still seeing u being so strong abt it gives me hope that wid a frnd lik u, i can get over any shit that happens. All becz i knw tht u will be there, sitting next to me, either yelling ur head off bcz of some stupid mistake i do, or soothing wid with ur hand over my shoulder whn i cry.
Kal tune chat pe bola naa... U will always hav my shoulder to cry on. Well, ull always have mine. And i knw tht things are goin to be awesome for u soon. Whether wid her in ur life or not, bt they will be BETTER. I knw it! cz u deserve the best !!! Aur ganga jamna rone kik koi jarurat nahi hai... asi hum hai toh kya gham hai!!! :)
I m proud of havin a frnd lik u in my life. I love u lot, and i will alwsy stay beside u for whtever happens. One day we will be both sitting and laughing over these days and tell our how silly we were then!! Tak care sweetheart!!
P.S : Dekha, mere se pyar karta toh itna sab jhol jamela nahi hota!!! hahahaha!!! *wink wink*
P.P.S : lolz. lot of people demanded to knw who this junglee was... Aur kaun ho sakta hai.. lolz. Nik. The Crush. The elements rem?!! hehe. N I even had him mail me his pic so i can put it up..
Apr 2, 2009
"OK .. lets do craft!!... (starting to smile!!)"
"Look wht Masi made for me!!! " (aww.. nething for u baby!!)
"Dun I look pretty???!!!"
P.S : I Love u baby!!! Get well soon!! Mwah!! :)
My two most fav people in d world!!
Preksha n Haw..
P.S : added by popular demand and growing curoisity... here are preksha's parents. my Di n Jiju.
I'm silly.. and I'm sweet..
Let me talk.. and you look on,
I'm a kid.. and I'm vulnerable..
Let me fall.. and then pick me up..
I am a baby.. let me cry..
Gather me in your strong arms
And save me from all harm
Make me whole..Breathe new life into me
Cz I hav been lying empty for so long..
I am lonely and I am scared,
I feel hollow and my heart is sad..
Give all ur love to me and then some more
Make me believe in rainbows again
Hug me tight.. never let me go,
Take me out, and buy me balloons,
Bring me chocolate chip icecream.. make me melt,
Laugh with me.. And tell me I'm cute..
Make me fall in love with you baby..
I will smile and I will act crazy...
I wont let you see how much it hurts baby..
See through the fake and take my hand
Tell me it will be allright soon
And you'll be there till the end..
I m a little bit of sugar
And lots of spice,
I m a little bit of good
And lots of bad,
Smile at me like I'm the only woman u see
Smooth my curls and gaze into my eyes
Kiss me senseless and leave me breathless
I'll trust u with my heart, Don't let it break..
Cz I love the way u say my name,
Come to me baby
And kiss my fingertips..
Swish your wand and make it magical
Take me away..
its difficult to breathe.. as invisible hands suffocate me
its difficult to sleep.. as the demons scare me
its difficult to forget everything... because i love him
i pretend to be allrite...when i am not
i smile ... when all i want to is break down and cry
i kiss you tender...when all i want is to scream
i sit still ... when all i want is to run away ... away
The worlds a bitch
whos got something against me
theres a road i am walking on
which noone else can see
am i walking away from something?or am i walking towards something?
i dont know
i dont know
what have i lost along the way?
what are the things i couldnt hold onto?
the mirror lies to me.. it screams calm
when theres a storm that rages inside me
that noone can see
i try to catch the raindrops
like i tried to gather people in life
like sand slipping from between outstreched fingers...everyone eluded me
till i was so alone
till all that was left was a broken me
night after night i lie in my empty bed,
looking at the shadows play across the ceiling,
No i wont cry, n i wont break.
No i wont cry..
i wont let the world see,
what they have taken away from me...
P.S: wrote a long time ago. since i m not that sad anymore, cudnt fix it up to mak it look like a proper poem. lolz. hope ill be writing nice stuff soon.. :)